Sean Avery claims he’s “officially retired”…The plights of two Alexanders…The Southeast really is “the south-least”…A brief look at the Blue Jackets lost season…The five best markets to relocate an NHL franchise…Are Brian Burke and Barack Obama the same person?…A look at the most likely Stanley Cup winners.

PUCK DADDY: Greg Wyshynski cites a Bravo TV interview in which Sean Avery declares he’s “officially retired”, having flung his skates into the Hudson River, which seems fitting, since he’s spent the past season skating as though he were plodding through a river.

SPECTOR’S NOTE: Avery now claims he was only joking about his retirement. Doesn’t matter, his NHL career is over.

Could Semin be playing his final NHL season?

ARMCHAIR HOCKEY.NET: Jason Chen examines the plight of Alexanders Radulov and Semin. One could be returning to the NHL, the other could be headed to the KHL.

BACKHAND SHELF:  Rob Pizzo points out five things about the Southeast Division which will “make you puke”. A tad strong with the language, but you get the point, which is that this season, the Southeast truly is the “southleast”.

THE STRANGEST ONE OF ALL: Scotty Wazz takes a look back at the Blue Jackets lost season.

THE HOCKEY WRITERS: Ryan Pike examines the five best markets for future NHL franchises. Saskatoon, for some puzzling reason, isn’t on the list…;)

PENSION PLAN PUPPETS: Kim Jorn examines the possibility Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke and President Barack Obama are (gasp!) the same person. After all, we’ve never seen them in the same room together…

DOWN GOES BROWN: A look at the eight teams with the best chance to win the Stanley Cup this season.